Dress codes for Dullards

What do you wear to work? Or when you go out, say to the mall, or the local coffee shop, or the nearest internet joint? Being in a tropical country, chances are you’d wear something cool and light, and then throw on something to keep you toasty while in your air-conditioned office. Going to the mall would mean denims, round neck tee, maybe Chuck Taylors or Havies or maybe Banana Peels. A trip to the internet joint around the block could be nothing more than your favorite walking shorts, flip flops, and your breeziest tee. That’s if you’re living anywhere else other than the business district of Makati here in the Philippines.

 

The proliferation of call centers and BPOs all round the business district has brought with it a distinctive trend in clothing, as well as a different lifestyle of sorts. Not content with the norm of business casuals, some agents would rather jazz up their entire wardrobe to feature power suits, the like of which would put all the models of GQ and the cast of The Matrix to shame. Too bad most of these people don’t carry it well. Wake up call, people! Number one: there’s a reason why the Barong Tagalog was named the formal wear for Filipinos. Whatever material your barong is made out of, it is specifically designed to make you look presentable without making you feel like you’re moving around in a wearable sauna. But I digress. Of course most people would not wear any barong today unless it’s strictly signature, made by the likes of Cesar Gaupo or some other designer, mainly because security guards have now taken stock on the casual barong.

 

Of course power suits look good, they should, considering how much they can cost. This, however, does not mean that every joe schmo or jane whatshername can wear it. A toad clothed all in Prada is still a toad, and all those derogatory remarks apply. Fact is, if you are a bit on the comely side, wearing flashy clothing will only draw more attention to the fact that you are ugly. Hard fact, but true. No clothing made on this earth can make you look like the model or Hollywood star you aspire to look like. However, dressing down a bit can help.

 

My advice? Wear something that feels good on you. I have always believed in the adage that when you feel good, you look good. Feeling good while wearing expensive clothing does not count, because, let’s face it; you wear those because you want people to know you can afford to buy those clothes, while they can’t. Well, guess what? You’re still ugly. You look like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch with your face on the way down, although decked out all in Gucci while doing so. This is an instance where clothes do not make the man (or woman).

 

The other side of the dressing spectrum is also quite an issue with a lot of people these days. Going to the mall or local internet shop meant walking shorts, beat up household sandals, and your favorite house shirt, be it your college shirt, already yellowed with age, or the token moth-eaten shirt from 1980. Moreover, taking a bath before you go is optional, never mind the fact that you stink to the high heavens. It probably wouldn’t be so bad if these people had cars which they drove to the mall, but nooo… of course most of them have to commute to the mall, adding to their already fermenting non-bathed odor the biting smell of the road.

 

Having explored both spectrums of the clothing preferences of the modern day worker in the metro, it leaves one wondering… what the f*+%? Why can’t people learn to dress normally? Why can’t they just dress their social level, work hierarchy, etc? The answers, sadly, is because the term “normal”, as in dressing “normal” is absolutely relative. What passes off for normal for me is definitely not normal for most people working in call centers, who make it a point to devote around 70% of their income to purchasing branded clothing for themselves. What’s also borderline normal for me is way, way above for the people who go to malls looking like they just went out to take the trash out of their homes. A sad fact of the reality of democracy is learning to master the painful skill called tolerance. This world is built on the notion that each person should learn to tolerate their neighbor, no matter what denomination, sexual preference, or monetary unit they subscribe to, and so it goes with clothing. Laugh if you must at people who dress ridiculously, but make no derogatory remarks about them in public… but do so once they are out of earshot. Oh… and laugh softly if you happen to be facing them, just enough that you can deny you are laughing at them, especially if they outweigh you and they have arms the size of your flabby thighs.